As I was leaving the grocery store, I noticed there was an entire section of water bottles stacked from floor to ceiling; from wall to wall. There was a huge banner saying, “The cheapest water in town!”
It was a fortress of plastic. Each package of water bottles was about the size of a small lifeboat. People were loading up on that water too, because if there’s one thing people hate about drinking water, it’s drinking water out of the same container twice.
People just hate that crap, and I don’t blame them this is America, not some third-world where people have to carry water on their heads in the same cistern that their grandmothers did. We don’t need to be concerned about natural resources or the consumption of their derivatives here. Two things convince me that this life of luxury we get to live here is not a detriment to society: 1. Everybody in Amarillo recycles; 2. It could be smart to use up resources.
Amarilloans Recycle
Even if people buy 10 of those plastic life rafts full of water, I’m almost certain every bit of the plastic is being recycled.
I wouldn’t say we’re green, but remember green’s not the only earth-tone worthy of note. Brown does its thing too, and I think Amarillo is one of the brownest cities in North America, right behind El Paso. The yellow is the only thing keeping us from out-browning south Texas.
Point being, people are surely recycling all that plastic. Amarillo people recycle, reuse, and repurpose everything. Just look at this Craigslist post from a person that needs 5 extra goats gone by tomarrow.
If we’re doing the right thing with goats, I’m sure we’re doing the even righter thing with people’s ability to ecologically prosper in the present and future.
I also once saw a lady’s Craigslist post giving away some extra spanish rice, bowl not included.
I know this is all black market recycling, but we haven’t even mentioned the extent of this vibrant “junk market”. There’s Amarillo, Buy, Sale or Trade’s Facebook page, local garage sales (my father-in-law has sold more half empty bottles of car wax, carpet shampoo, and scissors oil than Johnston’s Ace Hardware and Gebo’s combined), or my favorite method of propagating the Amarillo crap market called “throwing something in your dumpster”.
Got a crotch-ripped pair of Cinch jeans, or is your draw string missing from your huge basketball shorts that touch the ground? Simply place it in the dumpster in your alley. An middle-aged man will come and diligently dig them out and place them in a shopping cart that he pushes down your alley every 1st and 3rd Monday and Wednesday of the month.
He loves fabrics and considers plastic to be man’s finest achievement because its petroleum-base is great for everything short of propelling an engine… which he hasn’t owned, in any form, since the globalist conspiracy to kill the electric car.
He’s not the most enthusiastic conservationist though. He doesn’t come if it’s above 89 degrees, it’s Chinese New Year, or if anyone on your block has a neglected fence and dog (much of Amarillo).
The most consistent alley restorationist is a fan of electronics, or things that look electronic.
Have a cassette deck that’s eaten everything from Captain and Tennille to Achy Breaky Heart? Simply place it in the dumpster in your alley. An older man will jump in, dig it out, and load it into his white Chevy Astro van that he drives down your alley every 2nd and 4th Tuesday and Thursday of the month.
One day he was making his rounds and he asked me if I knew anyone throwing away a cassette deck, if so, he wanted it. He thinks it’ll make a great front loading toaster as long as people remember to, “fold their slice twice before inserting.”
I told him I didn’t think that would work.
He replied, “Even a Walkman would be great, because I can sell it to someone who wants toast on the go.”
He hits the alleys his day no matter what. Even if there’s a tornado warning. In fact, more so if there’s a tornado warning because he loves lighting because it reminds him of his electronics.
A word of warning: If you’re ever unfortunate enough to see them both in the same alley, you better run like you just got a text alert that mentions Pantex.
Even feral alley cats tear away from that calamity… and they’ve seen some stuff. Those kitties have seen some things that you’d be so terrified about you’d never take your trash out again.
My neighbor across the alley even recycles his engine oil the, “putting it by the dumpster” way. He just pours it out on the ground and says the city probably comes and gets it.
“It’ll leave a stain n everything, but the oirl lil be gone.”
He says, “It’s all brown anyways, its just dirt n oirl.”
To be continued in Pt. 2….
Amarillo Probe-Ruse 
[…] Amarillo’s resourcefulness when it comes to used items. It’s something I referred to in Pt. 1 as […]
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